Occasional Cogitations of a Mentally Shorn Student

My Side of the Story

2011-04-11T11:25:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I recently became engaged to Hannah. If you didn’t know, then I suggest you go read Hannah’s blog, then come back to mine.

http://thisresplendentlife.blogspot.com/2011/04/if-shoe-fits.html
The reason I pass you onto hers before letting you read my own, is because her post is a romanticized version of my marriage proposal. It fluffs up the good stuff and is blithely ignorant of all the things that were running through my head as it occurred. So, to be fair, I’m going to offer my side of the story in order to help you better understand the entire experience.

As Hannah mentioned, I planned a pretty exciting weekend, the details of which I was not willing to share with her. I did this because Hannah LOVES to know everything before it happens. She’s worse than I am when it comes to figuring out what she’s getting for Christmas, her birthday, etc. So when it came to my plans for Saturday, I guarded them like an angry mother moose would guard its calf.

Despite the buildup, the schedule was going to be fairly simple: Buy Vibrams for Hannah. Go free climbing with Hannah and Baldr in Tulsa. Go home. Sleep or watch movies for the rest of the day. The reason I wanted to buy the Vibrams was that Hannah had wanted a pair for a long time, but was never able to purchase them. In addition, I really wanted another pair as well. So Friday, I stopped by Summit to check on the goods and make sure they’d be open on Saturday, which they were. Banking on the weather being lovely, my plan solidified. Hannah gets there Friday night and we do our thing.

Then Saturday morning comes and Hannah wasn’t feeling very well, so I had intended to nix the outing and just let her sleep. However, after her prodding and promises of being “fine,” I took her to Braum’s to get some food and then to the outdoorsy store, Summit.

We spent the next hour or so trying on various Vibrams and waiting for the girl working to help us. Aside for the really poor service, and a few off-color comments about it (on my part) we got our shoes and went back to my apartment to pick up the little beast, Baldr. Then it was off to Chandler Park.

The drive was going fairly well for the most part. It was nice weather, windows were rolled down as we flew down the highway, and I was listing to my iPod. Hannah wasn’t acting like she felt very well, or was a bit unhappy, so about 30-40 minutes out from our destination, I rolled up the windows to talk to her about it…
Just as a bit of background: Baldr is like me when I was younger. He gets carsick worse than anyone/thing else I know. I mean I could have fed him hours ago, or even not at all, and he still sprays vomit all over the inside of my car like a mentally challenged fire hydrant. However, I found that this can be circumvented if the windows are down, similar to how I was/still am.

Back to the story. I rolled up the windows to talk to Hannah. The conversation wasn’t getting anywhere, so my frustration level had increased a bit. Then, Baldr started moving in a very familiar manner. About the time I realized what was going to happen, it was too late.

I have never seen him puke that much.

I was furious. By “furious,” I actually mean borderline homicidal. Had Hannah not been there and if I loved my dog even slightly less, there would have been a bloody puppy mess spread for half a mile down Highway 51, and I’d have ended up in that special hell where only murderers, gossipers, pedophiles and puppy killers go. Thankfully, Hannah was indeed there, trying to calm me down as I raged.

At this point, I’m sure you can imagine proposing was about the furthest thing from my mind. Especially when you realize I legitimately had no intention of doing so that Saturday, or even several Saturdays afterward, despite the fact we'd talked about it before and knew it would eventually happen. Anyway, we stopped at the next town and cleaned the rest of my car (I’d done a fair amount of cleaning while still on the side of the road. That included, but was not limited to, scooping handfuls of his sick out of the car with my bare hands and cursing with only the most debauched and inappropriate swears).

Once things were mostly cleared out, we continued to our destination. Eventually, we arrived at Chandler Park and I was pleased to see it wasn’t completely packed, at least not in the climbing area. An hour or so passed while we were outside, climbing and walking around. Finally I opted to go to a less used area to climb. Little did I know that I was essentially walking into a divinely staged environment, nearly perfect for what was about to happen. I do a bit more random climbing until we (all three of us) made our way to the top of a fairly secluded rock formation.

It was about that time the wheels in my head started turning in ways I had hoped they wouldn’t. They kept recounting a conversation Hannah and I had earlier that day about how due to the cost and total awesomeness of the shoes I’d purchased for us, Hannah would be just as happy using it in place of a ring. My response had been less than favorable. You must understand, I love Hannah very much and because of that, I wanted to purchase a fancy ring and do things the 'correct' way. I believe I even mentioned that I wasn’t sure I wanted to get married yet and how the whole concept scared the crap out of me. (P.S. The only difference now is that I know I want to get married. I’m still scared crapless)

So again, I had no intentions of proposing. There we were, atop this large rock, lost in the trees and grass. We talk for a bit but my mind started getting this white fog and I began getting remarkably nervous. I thought to myself “Oh dang it. Am I really doing what I think I’m doing?” I drop down on the rock below Hannah and take off her left shoe (The fact it was the left one was entirely unintentional, but worked out brilliantly), then I started talking about our relationship. We frequently talk about our relationship, but as you can imagine, it was a bit different that go around.

Then, before I know it, I slide the shoe back on and ask her if she'd be willing to marry me. Sure, with Vibrams they don’t exactly 'slide on,' but you get the point. Turns out she smiled and said ‘yes,’ after ensuring I was actually asking her to marry me (I had to ask twice. The first time I only asked if she'd be "willing" to marry me...but didn't ask her to do so). I’m still fairly confident I was possessed by some divine entity for a brief moment, because I easily pulled off the smoothest, spur of the moment, fairy-tale (with a modern twist) proposal in pretty much ever. I'm also fairly confident it was God doing me a favor, because I most likely wouldn't have ever grown the pair of balls needed to ask the question for real.

So yeah. I’m engaged and I didn’t expect it any more than my lovely fiancée did. It's crazy how these things work out, but I'm glad they do. I honestly never really expected I'd end up here and now that I am, I couldn't imagine being happier anywhere else, with anyone else.

The Zombie Apocalypse: My Meager Attempt at Survival

2011-03-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

This is a response to a status thingy on Facebook. I posted it here to link to my friends on FB. Please excuse me if you get confused.

'Go to your profile. The first 5 people in your friends bar are you teammates in the coming zombie apocalypse. How do your chances look?'

The first five were as follows: Alex, Jenny, Elise, Taylor and Jake.
To be rather frank with everyone, our chance of a '0 casualty' rating is infinitesimal. When I look at the individuals in this group, I identify their basic survival skills, physical abilities and other random skill-sets of which I'm aware.
Frankly, the most probable number of survivors is three. However, assuming others follow orders perfectly, we may increase the total to four individuals. Those four would be: Alex, Jake, Taylor and myself.
I'll explain my filtering process below (Only list 3-4 ranks in each category):

First: Basic Wilderness Survival Skills

Alex and I scored highest in this category, immediately followed by Jake. The both of us possess nearly all simple, but invaluable, skills needed to survive. Namely: Ability to locate/build a shelter, ability to locate water and purify it, ability to locate a viable food source, the ability to prepare the food source in a safe and healthy manner, the ability to make and sustain a fire of the appropriate size from scratch.

Second: Physical Fitness/ Coordination
Jake and Taylor scored highest in this category. Due to their diet, focus on health and regular workout routines, they fall into the top two (followed by me, then Alex).

Third: Survival Skills for a Zombie Encounter
Assuming combat ever occurs, one must be able to defend themselves (and others as needed) with the weapons at hand. To be fair, I included the presence of long-range, mid-range and close combat weaponry, followed by hand-to-hand. Keep in mind I calculated current ability along with ability to learn. Also, when calculating Hand-to-Hand I included estimated length of endurance based on physical fitness and ability.

In the subcategory of long-range (rifles, etc): Myself, Alex, Jake, Everyone Else

Mid-range (pistols, thrown weapons, staves): Alex, Myself, Everyone Else

Close Combat (swords, knives, clubs, etc): Myself, Alex, (Probably Elise), Everyone Else

*NOTE: Anyone can swing around a big stick, but only a couple in this group could turn it into an accurate killing tool.

Hand-to-Hand (The “You’re Screwed” Category): Jake (and his long arms…curse you…), Myself, Alex, Taylor

Fourth: Ability to Plan and Execute Strategies

This category is pretty self-explanatory. When one plans to hole up in the mountains, booby-trap the surrounding areas, locate and secure escape routes, etc…they need to have the skill-set and understanding to plan and make things happen.

Rankings: Alex and I are at the forefront due to our experiences traipsing through/living in the wilderness. We would be ideal for locating defensible areas and figuring out what we’d need to do to fortify and better the area. Following the two of us would be Jake/Taylor and then Elise. Jake and Taylor are tied with their unique understanding of ways to survive in heavily populated areas and their standard “thinking outside the box” mannerisms. Following them would be Elise due to her ability to strategize in ways that would enhance the plans of others.

Fifth: Emotional Stability and Control

It is one thing to be cool-headed and able to keep your emotions stable, so as to not freak out and get yourself killed…but it’s something different entirely when you’re able to control them in seemingly hopeless situations. When it’s obvious everyone is probably going to die, someone who lacks emotional control, but who is stable, might find themselves thinking, “We’re all going to die anyway…what’s the point of fighting it?” The ‘point of fighting it’ would be the fact that I don’t want to die and neither do the others in the group. So based on my understanding of the group members’ Stability and Control, I ranked them as follows:

First would be Jake, then Taylor, myself and then Alex.

Sixth (lastly): Random Personality Traits and Skill-Sets:

Each person has a random assortment of skills and personality traits, the likes of which may or may not prove invaluable. Naturally the Skill-Sets would be useful if someone is practically the next MacGyver, however if nobody in the group likes you, you’ll end up killed by zombies on your own…or after I stab you and use you as a diversion. So, with all of that in mind, I’ll give you two categories and the rankings of each group member.

Random Skill-Sets: Alex, Myself, Taylor, Jake, Elise Jenny

Personality Traits (being able to meld with the group): Taylor, Elise, Myself, Jake, Alex, Jenny.

IN CONCLUSION:

I’d like to express my sincerest condolences to the members in my group who would most likely not survive. This is not a reflection of how you’d do with other people, it’s merely a well calculated and thought out process of deductive reasoning which lead to the results of how well you’d do in MY group. Also, if you scored lower/were not ranked in some categories, it doesn’t necessarily mean you lack all of that needed skill/trait, but rather there might have been a surplus in the people ahead of you. So, believe me when I say that I wish you the best in the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse…I just don’t want my survival dependent upon you specifically. It’s nothing personal… I’d just rather keep my group’s survival rating above the 50% margin.

So now, selected from the picayune number of friends I’m willing to keep on Facebook, I offer my preferred group of individuals for the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse.

My group would consist of: Alex, Jake, Michael, Talyn, Sam, Hannah and Dillon.

Yes, I opted to add two more, even though greater numbers increases probability of failure. I did this because with these individuals we still have a higher chance than me and just one of the people I didn’t select. Though to be frank with everyone, even with this group, two of us might not make it. But here’s to hoping that doesn’t occur.

Thank you for your time.

Podcast

2010-08-31T23:07:00.000-07:00

Well, if you don't mind listening to me ramble about myself and experiences here in Japan, check out this Podcast I did a month or so ago. It's pretty much 17 min of me going on about stuff. ^_^

http://japanofiles.com/episode_32

The Most Important Day of the Year

2010-08-23T06:33:00.001-07:00

Many of you are wondering what it is I did for that ever-so-special day, the likes of which comes once a year. No, I’m not talking Christmas, Thanksgiving, The 4th of July or any other seemingly important day. I’m speaking of the one and only day of the year which is my day. It’s the day which celebrates my coming into the world, screaming, covered in all manner of mess, and naked. Yes, that applies to most Friday nights, but I’m talking about my birthday.
To answer the question on everyone’s mind, I think it best I start at the beginning. I woke up something close to nine, rather early in my book, and rolled out of bed. Sure I didn’t actually “roll,” it was more of a springing motion into a kneeling position atop my sheets. After which I stumbled to the bathroom to splash water on my face. Fortunately for me, it takes about two and a half steps to get there, otherwise I’d probably crash to the floor and continue to sleep another extra hour on the dirty tiles.
I digress. After my morning rituals, I sat down at my computer and turned on some music. The American Dollar, to be exact. I’ve become rather fond of them since my good friend, Alex, shared some of the music with me. After sinking into the now comfortable chair (I say “now” due to it originally being a stiff, cloth, rolling chair, but due to long hours spent in it, sweating like a horse, it’s rather soft now), I considered what I was going to do for the day. I concluded it best that I get a bit of work done for my boss, Richard.
I’m currently working on a project of sorts with him, which requires a very limited amount of my literary genius, but getting paid to write isn’t something I’ll complain about. So I got to work. I finished what was required of me in something close to an hour. Upon completion I was left in a sort of conundrum. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do for the rest of the day. However, as I looked about my room, I realized I needed to clean it, especially because tomorrow is burnable trash day. Thus, after a few more hours of procrastination, I got after it.
Imagine with me, for a moment, what a garbage dump looks like. Now, imagine that garbage dump is located on your balcony. Now, bear with me, imagine that it has been there, accumulating all manner of rubbish over the course of a year. Lastly, imagine that it has been rained on and flooded at least once. That, my dear friends and family, is what my little porch looked like. With a grimace and more than one unpleasant experience, I got a section of it cleaned up and mostly bagged, so I could rid myself of the garbage, assuming I manage to get it out on the right day.
I will admit, I do intend to leave a bag of cans for the people to clean up later. This is not entirely due to me being slightly spiteful of the way I’ve been treated, but more so due to the fact I paid ¥10000 at the first of the year for a cleaning service that entailed wiping off a counter or two. My theory is that the person who will come to inhabit this room after me will certainly get their money’s worth.
Yet again, I digress. After deciding I was done cleaning for the day, I set about to do my laundry. Finally having enough change to use the washing machine, rather than my bathtub, I quickly did a load. Naturally I forgot it was in there until about five this afternoon, but as least I did get it done.
So during that time, I found myself playing a bit of D&D online and writing. As to the writing, I’m quite satisfied with what I accomplished. I’ve been writing my book for a little while now and just today managed to complete the needed battle to join two parts of my writing together. The current status is 43 pages. Hopefully later tonight or tomorrow, before/after work, I’ll be able to write a bit more, but I’m at one of those stopping points where it’s hard to get going again. Yet I’m finally at a place where things will start progressing rapidly and be much more exciting.
Other than that, I really didn’t do much today. I did a bit of eating, some working on a new talent of mine, and chilling. So to be honest, it was like most any other day, excluding the fact I have a nice little gift I was able to purchase while in Osaka. Below are the photos. It’s an iPod touch. Not an iPhone, iPod. iPod. It does everything an iPhone can, minus phone calls, which you have to pay for with a phone. I can access the internet and skype all I want. I can play games and listen to whatever music I’d like (as long as I have it one there). It’s remarkably convenient and super sleek.

See? It says iPod.

Frontal view of the awesome. A list of some of the apps I've already got installed. Including, but not limited to, a Japanese dictionary, games, wallpapers, etc.

I mentioned wallpapers under the previous photo. This would be my current one. I'm rather fond of it.

In conclusion I'd like to do a bit of a shout out for the awsome people who messaged me, skyped me, texted, or emailed me for my birthday.
Thank you Steph for the lengthy text, Dad for the conversation (the day before my b-day and today), Hannah for the 6+ hour conversation (yesterday), Liberty for the best Ecard I've ever received, my mother for her lengthy text, and Jen for her "Happy Birthday!" comment at about 2:00ish this morning. Also, a special thanks to Tara and Alice. Two Australian girls I randomly met up with Saturday night. The weekend would have been dull without you two.

That wraps up this post. I'm sure I'll have another one sometime in the future. If anyone would like to read my book, in its current and unfinished state, I'll happily take any requests. Thank you and goodnight.

Blargh...

2010-06-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

Recently, I’ve been dreaming about a lot of random things. I say “a lot,” but to be perfectly honest, that’s a wee bit of an understatement. I’ve been dreaming about going back to the States, staying in Japan, the future, questions people might ask me about everything, etc. The short list above is an edited and modified version of the original. Most of what was written first doesn’t need to be shared, so be happy with what you’ve got now. However, I’d like to expound on one of those things: “questions people might ask me…” One of those questions was a bit of an inquiry as to the nature of me. To be perfectly sincere, it became quite the monologue. However, I impressed myself with how genuine and upfront I was in my response. So, I’ve opted to share a bit/a lot of what I said.

My name is Jesse Ammon Holyoak. I’m a simple, yet remarkably complicated creature. I’ve been living abroad in Japan for the last little bit and it was during that stay I really learned some things about myself. Most important of these discoveries was my realization of what I truly want. I want to fall deeply in love with someone. I want to fall so completely that they become my world, my life. I want to be loved as deeply by this someone as I want to love them. I want to wake up on the couch after a long movie night and see this someone, standing in the hallway, wearing naught but my shirt, messing with the thermostat. I want to sit next to them at the kitchen bar, eating cereal in the morning, both of us still wearing what we slept in. I want to discover and revel in the myth known as “making love” rather than just having sex. Above all else, I just want to be a good husband and father.
Despite these desires, commitment absolutely terrifies me. It isn’t due to my fear of being reined in or restrained, but it has everything to do with my fear of completely messing it up. I am scared of losing something so precious, something I put all my emotions and energy into. I’m horrified by the possibility of it blowing up in my face, so I am hesitant to even reach for it.

The monologue continued on for several more pages, were I to write it all down, so I'll end it with that part there. It's an interesting thing to see yourself answering questions like that, due to the fact it's as though it's news to you as well. The subconscious mind is a brilliant and beautiful thing.

So yeah...I'm working on a screenplay...

2010-06-01T11:48:00.001-07:00

Yup. I'm working on a screenplay, however, due to an inability to write anything outside of "story" format, I'm going to write it out like a novel/short story first and then rewrite it as a screenplay. It'll be interesting, methinks. So just to share a bit of what my brain vomited onto a page tonight, I'm going to give you a taste. Yes...a taste of my brain vomit. Trust me, it's nummy, but has no editing, so you'll have to deal with it.

As I descended the dark stone steps into an unfathomable abyss, my senses were assaulted with smells of death and decay. My eyes burned with the poisonous fumes, my mouth dry like sandstone as ash and smoke filled every opening and pore of my body. The heat rolled off my flesh like the tongues of serpents seeking for weakness so they might rend me to the bone. In the presence of such foulness every fiber of my anatomy, every tendril of my spirit shook in fear and desperation, yet I was compelled forward by the image of my beautiful, smiling Eurydice.
Step after step I continued further into the dark unknown of the Underworld. My footsteps echoing off stone like the voices of a long forgotten people, lost in the sands of time. My feet bled, shedding red tears to mirror the pain and agony locked within the confines of my destitute soul. A lifetime seemed to have passed from the moment I entered the mouth of this foul cave, yet I pressed onward, clutching my bribe for the ferryman as it rested against my chest.

And there you have it folks. My little short post for the day...or however long until my next one...and a slight teaser for the wait.

The Mother of All Updates

2010-03-12T05:04:00.000-08:00

Well this is the second attempt at a monster post. I managed to mess the last one up. SO, this is it. It'll start off with Part One of my recounting of the trip I took to a mountain village called Hakuba.

Yes, well, it all started off with a bit of a misunderstanding and a dose of insomnia.
My good friend Jake and I had planned a trip to Osaka last weekend. We had conjured up plans and locations to travel, etc. We were to leave on Thursday, be there for three days and return. This is where the misunderstanding took place. For some reason, unknown to me, Jake got it in his head that I was not going to Osaka with him, but rather staying home. So, I found myself in my room on Saturday, doing not much of anything at 4:00 in the morning. It was at this time I receive a text from my friend Tyler, who is going to school in Osaka, but happened to be traveling that weekend. The message stated that he was in Matsumoto. Naturally, being awake and bored at this hour I respond to his message asking for his exact location. I never got the location but it turned out he was just passing through on a night bus traveling to the mountain village of 白馬 (Hakuba) to go snowboarding with other Kansai Gaidai students.
So, through a series of messages back and forth, it is determined that I will take a trip to Hakuba by train, assuming that there is a train to Hakuba. I have never been to Hakuba, nor have I traveled by train on my own, so naturally, this journey was off to a good start.
I bike down to the 駅 (eki) and get there around 10:00 am, completely unsure of what I was doing or where I was really going. I lock my bike up across the street, believing it to be safe enough for the limited time I had supposed I would be gone, then I make my way into the main area of the eki. I eventually come to a stop in from of the signs that list the train names, locations and departure times. I stare at them blankly for a good ten minutes before I decide to give Jake a call, in hopes that he can help me. There was no answer for a while, so I concluded it best to find a seat across the way at Starbucks. I order myself some herbal tea to drink and find a place to sit. Time passes and eventually I get a text from Jake. I then walk back outside to the main area and send him photos of the train lists and destinations, seeing as how I can make little sense of them. As luck would have it, Jake had no idea how to help me in my little situation, seeing as how he had never even heard of Hakuba, let alone know what train I should take. Jake’s great advice was to speak with the eki people.
A bit of time passed before I concluded that was indeed the best option. A bit of time passes before I end up in the room talking to the "eki people." In the limited Japanese I know, I stand there, expressing my desires to get to Hakuba and not knowing what to do. They proved helpful enough and I soon find myself in possession of a ticket to Hakuba. During my conversation with the "eki people" I discovered that I would need to switch trains at some point during my travels. I was instructed to switch to the train on platform 4, as I would arrive at platform 3. I nod in understanding and then make my way back to the Starbucks across the way, to wait for an hour for my train to arrive.
Soon, boredom struck, like an assassin in the night, cutting my stay in Starbucks short, like the arteries of the unknowing victim. At this time I mosey on into the shopping area of the eki, where I suddenly seem to materialize in the book store. I begin walking listlessly through the rows of books, like a wraith through the rows of headstones in a graveyard. After a while I notice I’m standing in front of a particular shelf of books, foreign books, translated into Japanese. Stepping forth, from the veil of listlessness, I reach down and picked up a book, familiar in both title and artwork.
It’s the book known as “Twilight.”
I flip through the pages, scanning the words I didn't understand until something within me stirs, or clicks, rather. I looked back down at the shelf from which I had lifted the book and noted that the series lay before me, like so many stones in an abandoned street.

I bought all four.
Making my way from the store to a little donut shop, I sit myself down at a table and begin to read. I understand little, but thankfully, I had thought to bring my dictionary with me, wherewith I was able to translate the Kanji into their Hiragana forms, to make them more readable. Much time passed while I slave away through the first page, reading and writing, then re-reading again. Suddenly, I’m roused from my labors by the alarm on my phone, which I had set to mark to time of my departure
I quickly gather my things and make my way to the platform, ticket in hand.
My train was easy enough to locate. I enter and find my spot near the opposite door, where I would need to stand, seeing as how the train was unusually crowded.
Five minutes pass before the entrance door lurches forward and closes, a shaking of the train marking that the breaks have been released, signaling our departure.
The ride is a fairly long one. After 80 minutes or so, we arrive at the station in which I would need to switch trains. I am nervous, of course, but quickly jumped off my train and followed the crowd to the next train...trains.
There are two.
A small bit of panic strikes, squeezing the breath from my lungs like the grip of a child on a small serpent found in the garden. However, I quickly recover my composure and ask an old lady, walking slowly next to me, which of the two trains I am to take. Her answer does little to relax me.
"That one over there," she points to the far one, then pauses, "wait no, I think it's this one here."
I swallow an unsure sigh, but conclude it best to follow her to the second train indicated having consigned myself, in that moment, to accept whatever fate awaits me.
I locate my seat next to the little old woman and lean my head back against the cold window.
She sends a few sheepish looks my way before returning her focus to the bag in her hand. I return a few sideways glances her way, to study her a bit, to gauge her comfort with sitting next to a young handsome gaijin like myself. I note the wedding ring on her frail boney finger and smile to myself. I certainly hope her husband was still alive, she seems kind enough, but naturally timid around foreigners. I sigh and close my eyes, relaxing a bit and hoping to make out the word "Hakuba" from amidst the other words and destinations that would soon be announced which, naturally, I wouldn't understand.
The doors hiss shut and we start off to some unknown destination.
The young male voice of the "conductor," if they are to be called that, rings out over the speakers stating the name of the line we were currently on and a few of the nearer destinations. Hakuba is not one of them, but the name of the line sounded familiar and correct enough, that I figure I'd wait it out.
About forty minutes pass and I soon find myself in the very snowy mountains. Trees, snow and ski resorts passing rapidly, like the whims and desires of a young teenage school girl. I close my eyes again, being finally content enough with my surroundings to assume I am heading in the right direction.
Another 15-20 minutes pass before the conductor's voice announces the stop "Hakuba.” I gather my meager belongings and ready myself to step off the train when we come to a halt. I call my belongings ‘meager’ because they were naught but a messenger bag holding a scarf and an extra jacket, the jacket serving more as a fashion statement than actually anything to keep me warm In addition to that, the four small books and my dictionary were contained within my bag. (My lack of foresight baffles me to this day.)
I follow the surging crowd of people and step off the train into the cold mountain air.

~To Be Continued In Part Two~

Now it's time for a few photos. I'll be gloating a bit, seeing as how these photos will include, but are not limited to, photos of my culinary masterpieces and new hair cut.

"A FOWL AFFAIR"

Simple enough to make. You need: chicken, cut to your size of preference, Ramen, Hidden Valley Ranch dressing, two eggs, and seasonings of your choice.
Cook your chicken for however long you prefer, naturally cooking it long enough to make it safe, then place the chicken to the side, covered, to keep it warm. Get a pot of boiling water going to cook your Ramen. While the ramen is softening, throw in your two eggs. The eggs and the Ramen should finish cooking at about the same time. Drain water. Mix chicken into the ramen and season to taste. Top it off with Ranch to add that special awesome flavor.

"BOLIVIANO"

*cooker's note: It's called the Boliviano because Bolivia's flag's colors are red, yellow and green. Red tomatoes, yellow noodles and green beans...yeah...anyway...

Needed items: Ramen, beans of any variety, sliced tomatoes, enoki (Japanese mushroom), and thinly sliced meat of your choosing, best option is beef of some sort.
Similar cooking pattern as the first. Cook noodles first, unless you wish to cook the meat at the same time. If so, you can throw the meat in the pot with the Ramen at the beginning and it will cook quickly in the boiling water. After noodles soften and meat begins to brown, toss in the veggies. Turn the heat down and let it slow cook for a bit. When things looks how you want them, pull it off the heat, drain the water, season to taste and then add the ranch if you'd like.

"HELLTHY EATIN'"

A personal favorite. I mean, c'mon, the last thing any gun shootin,' steer wranglin,' meat eatin' country boy wants is to be gnawing on some plant, rather than the rear end of some dead animal.
Personally, I'm rather fond of rear ends. Both on humans and on animals. Naturally, I keep a few extras hidden under my floor boards for when I get the munchies, but I digress.
Needed Items: ...leafy things..., bunashimeji (different Japanese mushroom, croutons (r whatever you can find that are similar), Brussels sprout things, fresh beans, dressing and such.
Keep in mind, this is just a monster salad. Period. Just mix it all together.
Here's the final product:

Now to end everything up. My last two photos are of my new hair cut and my new girlfriend. I was being all artsy and such when I took the photo to show off my hair, so bear with me. I enjoyed editing it though. After that will be the photo of my new girlfriend. Her name is 緑. She's quite the lovely thing. Very bright by divine design. Slender built, very attractive, certainly the best girlfriend I could have at this moment. Sure, having a dog would beat having a girlfriend, but I'll be getting one of those when I get stateside. Oh, speaking of which, I'm planning on finding a way to fly 緑 out to Oklahoma with me. Not sure how that will work out. It'll be a bit complicated. It'll totally be worth it though. We've gotten along pretty well so far. Started off very well. In fact our meeting is a bit of a funny story. I headed out with Jake to go to WATAHAN and Seiyu (it's like the japanese walmart)and then pay my bills, but ended up taking a detour to JUSCO (bigger store. Kinda like a crappy mall). Jake and I parked our bikes, walked in, took a right and there she was. Took my breath away, I must admit. Love at first sight. She was something quite exquisite. Though to shorten things, names were exchanged, waited around on her for about 20 min, spent some time walking home with Jake, then she ended up at my place. We've bonded well, been all over Matsumoto together, we're even planning a trip out of town together before school starts again. We'll see how it goes though. It needs a bit more planning. Though yeah. The photos are below. Figured you'd like to see the awesome and the lovely.

"HAIR CUT"

"LOVELY MISS 緑"

All About Liberty

2010-01-31T08:54:00.000-08:00

You know, I feel like bragging on my sister Liberty a bit today. Don't get me wrong, my other sisters will eventually get a full blog post devoted to them too, but today it's for Liberty.
Almost regularly and for quite some time now, I’ve been receiving text messages from Lib. These messages are just casual conversational stuff, things she was thinking about, worrying about and etcetera. As I responded to one of the more recent messages, I had an awakening of sorts. An awakening, or remembering, however you wish to view it.
Throughout my life, I’ve found myself in many a situation where I needed some sisterly advice, some counsel, or what have you. When I was in my earlier years, I would turn to Liberty. Wise beyond her years, I’d always receive the advice I sought and an additional story of Liberty’s own experiences with something similar. I’ve come to greatly trust and appreciate my sister’s input. Her advice, comments and suggestions are always noninvasive, spoken in a gentle manner and always worth heeding.
When I was younger, I would always consider Liberty as my “favorite” sister. Sure, brothers are not supposed to have a “favorite” sister, but Liberty was/is pretty darn special to me. I still remember one occasion, while living in North Logan, on which I went down to my sister’s room and slept next to her. This particular memory sticks out in my mind for two reasons, first, because it was a wonderful bonding experience between my sister and me, secondly, because I was accidentally pushed out of the bed in the middle of the night. I suppose the only reason the second note was worth remembering, is because I managed to land on her large pile of CDs and her radio, which was laying next to the bed. In addition to that, the commotion caused my sister to awake, at which time she inquired, “what happened?” my response was, “I fell out of the bed. It really hurt.” Then, with the utmost amount of sisterly love and compassion, she replied, “No you didn’t.” and fell back asleep.
Though in all seriousness, my sister Liberty really is wonderful. She seeks to be a part of my life in such a personal, nonintrusive and caring way, that I’m quite impressed with her. She has always been here for me. She was there for me to talk to before Whitney and then after her. She’s always been such a wonderful friend and sister.
I look at her (figuratively) now and I’m impressed at how awesome she is. I always laugh at how she is so humble and self-conscious about herself. I must admit, when she is complaining when pregnant about how “big” she looks or what have you, I think to myself about how lovely she is. Sure, she may not be little miss Whitney, who looks like she’s just hiding a ball under her shirt, but my sister Liberty is such a beautiful pregnant lady (if I can call my sister a “lady” in that fashion). Not only that, but the fact she runs her own zoo at home, with her boys as wonderfully crazy as they are, merely adds to her awesomeness factor. She’s such a great mom too. I’ve always been impressed with how great she is at parenting. It always seems to come so naturally to her. Even when her kids are being brats, or not eating or just giving everyone a headache, she handles them so well. I’m sure Kit realizes the treasure he managed to find, but I concede to the fact, if I happen to snag a girl even half as wonderful… I think I’d be the happiest husband in the world.

You know, there is a saying, “Do as I say, but not as I do.” It’s a wonderful saying that applies to many people, Liberty herself has thrown it at me a few times, but the funny thing is that I’m perfectly content with following not only what she says, but how she acts. She’s always been such a great example to everyone around her and I, as her little punk brother, have always looked up to her. Sure, like everyone else in the world, she has her faults and etc, but those are what have shaped her into the wonder she is today. I am very fond of throwing this quote around (seeing as how I wrote it), but I feel it really applies to Liberty, "Each person in the world begins life like the artist's untouched marble. Remember, the marble has to be beaten, chipped and cut before it can become something truly spectacular." My sister has had a life full of experiences that have helped shape her into the person she is today. They have shaped her into something “truly spectacular.”

Thank you for everything Liberty.

**Writer’s Note to Whitney and Stephanie: Just because this is all about Liberty, doesn’t mean I don’t think you guys are wonderful too. It’s just that this post is all about Lib.

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T07:43:00.000-08:00

It is common belief that the way you spend New Year's Eve into the New Year, is a bit of a precursor for the way your year will go. I find this statement to be a bit disheartening for many reasons. Foremost of which, is the manner in which I just spent MY New Year’s Eve. Below attached are a series of photos that show the slow, degeneration of my room, and the fashion in which I celebrated this grandiose holiday. Though, I must concede to the fact I just had an epiphany of sorts. The way I spent my New Year was, in fact, the exact same way I spent my Christmas. It’s a remarkable thing, really. So, perhaps, the belief holds a bit of truth after all. Though I fear it is due to a series of behavior characteristics, or habits, and not quite so much the way you spend a single night.

This would be my work station. It houses my computer, my peanut butter, and empty bottle of Ginger Ale, my cell phone, wallet, and a series of other crucial items.

This is my little Draenei hunter, Longwei, with his pet Ravager, Tianlong. Longwei's home is in an online game known as World of Warcraft. It currently has over 11 million players. I seem to find myself standing strong alongside my WoW addicted brethren, proudly waving our faction's flag. All hail the great Alliance! Hoorah!

This would be a bed. Trust me, I know it looks nothing like it, nor is it habitable at this moment, but somewhere, buried deep under all of that non-bed stuff, there is a bed, kind in nature, just wishing to be loved and slept with. It's odd how inanimate objects can, so often, have the same desires and characteristics as many humans.

Lastly, this is my valiant kitchen area thing. Cluttered may be an understatement, but it has served me well. I've come to find I am a genius at concocting any variety of Ramen. Oft times it is the most delicious food I've ever ingested. This is usually because I've not eaten in 48 hours and I cooked meat into it. Though that aside, I'm a master Ramen chef, especially when all I have to do is throw it into boiling water and it practically cooks itself.

Thusly, I conclude today's musings. It's 1:25 am January 1st 2010 and I have many frivolous things to waste my time on for the subsequent three hours. To all, I wish you a good night.

Cutting your own hair is like most things...much easier to do in theory than in practice

2009-12-03T02:51:00.000-08:00

Recently I took a short trip to a park here in Matsumoto. It was a rather enjoyable experience. I went with a lovely little friend of mine named みさき(Misaki.)We had a pretty good time. Sam bailed, claiming to be sick (he had a minor sore throat) even though we ran into him walking around with Daniel on our way home. It's all good. He made a point to emphasize it was him giving me the opportunity to work on my wooing skills and Japanese...but mostly Japanese. So we walked across the city and made it to the park. Ran around for a while and then came back. All the while communicating in butchered Japanese, decent English and a dash of Spanish. It was pretty fun. Below will be photos I took and small explanations. I owe you guys a few photos I believe.

This one is primarily for the Alabama Apples-Folk. These would be Jos's snow monkeys. Sure the park doubled as a zoo, so they're not wild, but I'm sure they'd try to eat you if you got into their area. Hope the little ones enjoy that one.

I must admit, for this photo and the next couple, I really felt strange taking photos of animals I'd shoot and eat, or see sitting in a tree normally back in the States...in a ZOO in Japan. It was pretty cool. They also had Raccoons and ducks and such, but those ones didn't turn out too well.

This would be a museum. You had to pay if you planned to do anything other than look out of the tower thing...so naturally that's all we did. It proved interesting due to the fact while I was up there I was mildly molested by a 60+ year old man (I think he said 60...but again, my Japanese blows). He thought it was hilarious that I was an American who was skinny, so he made a point to keep putting his hands on my stomach and then making the "fat person" motion, by holding his arms out in a circle in front of him. He also commented on my being very young, white and hairy...not that I didn't already know all of those things. Though he did think it was pretty cool that I was living in Japan on my own at the ever-so-young age of 21. I just kinda laughed about it until I could sneak away and pretend to take photos so he'd rant to Misaki. I was rather awed by how much respect she showed him. He struck me as an interesting, ranting, old man. Then again, I suppose if I spoke Japanese I'd have been intrigued by his recount of the places he'd traveled (Misaki told me that's what he was talking about later). Though she was very respectful of him and talked for a good twenty minutes after I managed to escape to the other side of the circular tower thing...six feet away.

I'm assuming these mini houses served some higher purpose than just sitting there...but I really don't know. They're kinda cute...in an architecturally cute sort of way...

This last one is the Westish view from the top of the above mentioned museum thing. It was spectacular, but the photo does have a bit of a glare because I was shooting through the glass.

It was a totally awesome experience that lasted about four hours in total. I took lots of photos and had a blast.

Alright...that wraps up this post. I'll catch all of you guys later.

Peace out.

P.S. The haircut turned out fine.

It's about time eh? Oh wow...I better not be turning Canadian...

2009-11-23T02:58:00.000-08:00

This is my update. I am perfectly aware of the fact I fail miserably at keeping people up to date and posted. Simply put, if you want to know what's been happening from the time of my last post until now, check Sam's blog out. In fact, the primary purpose of this post is to tell all of you that you can email my phone. Yup. That means with your computer box (Personal computer) or your little boxy mini phone things (cell phones, Blackberrys in particular) you can send me one of those electronic messages (emails/texts) straight to my boxy mini phone thing (my cell phone).

My email address: unknowneden@softbank.ne.jp
Primary functioning hours for shortest reply times: ~5:00 p.m.-7:00 a.m. (Times in Oklahoma)

Please feel free to email me. I'll happily respond to anything I receive. It will almost be like it was in the states with my texting addictions and etc.

Note: Don't worry, it doesn't cost me anything and I don't think it costs you guys to email me. ^_^ It's just email, after all.

On an additional note, be happy. I have been bragging on you guys (family). I mean, really, I was fortunate enough to write about some of you in a paper I wrote in Comp. class. I'll copy and paste it...see if this works...

私の家族

私の家族は8人です。りょうしん4人のあねとあとうとかいます。わたしのかぞくはおおきです。わたしたちはアメリカにすんでいます。
わたしのちちはとても優秀で、ええごとちゅうごくごはなします。香港で住んでいました。じゆういでじゆういがくをおしえています。ちちは52さいです。わたしのおとうとは19さいです。モビルにすんでいます。とてもしんせつです。しゅみはうまにのることです。わたしの4人のあねはとてもきれいです。
私の家族は気軽です。私たちは一緒にいるときに愛があります。

I included photos of you guys that I either stole from the Internet or took myself (which means I stole 4/5 of them), though none of them copied onto here. Oh well.

Though yes...this concludes my post for the day. I'll make an effort to do little ones everyday, but then a big one every once in a while. Be happy. ^_^

ENDING COMMENT: AGAIN, I HAVE EMAIL ON MY PHONE. THAT MEANS SEND ME A MESSAGE ANY TIME. I WILL RESPOND THE MOMENT I HAVE A CHANCE. FOR OPTIMAL SENDING TIMES, NOTE THE ABOVE STATEMENT. THANK YOU, THAT IS ALL.

たいまつ祭り (Also known as the Taimatsu Matsuri [Torch Festival])

2009-10-26T01:54:00.000-07:00

So, to appease the masses, this post is about the festival. The Taimatsu Matsuri is a very peculiar festival. It's considered one of Japan's three dedicated to Taiko dumming and, ultimately fire. People parade through the streets carrying large bundles of straw (torches) There are often more than 100 torches being pulled through the streets. These torches are usually very large often as much as 3 meters in diameter. These "torches" are then pulled by families, friends, business mates, etc. up a long road to a mountain shrine. These are then dedicated to the shrine. One thing to keep in mind, if you are sensitive to smoke, bring a mask of sorts, or a wet towel to cover your mouth. The streets are filled with smoke and ash. In fact, one of the customs is to smear another person with ash (if you're one of the people pulling the torches), it's actually supposed to bring good luck. That's why all of us have a large amount of ash smeared on our faces. Then later, we were able to actually participate thanks to Bregt (Belgian Girl on the left in the earlier post) asking for us. Sam and I got into a group of school kids. They were awesome. Them and the adults made a point to ensure both of our faces were as black as theirs. That would be why you can see the progressive darkening. Well, that's pretty much my explanation. I'm not particularly motivated to write this one. I'm actually late for a meeting of sorts. So I'm going to post a large number of photos from the festival and call it quits. I hope you enjoy them. Peace out.

Ugh...Finally...

2009-10-20T03:38:00.000-07:00

Tonight I finally received my Internet. I've been looking forward to it for quite some time and apparently it's been rather reluctant to make it's way to my home, but it is now here. Quite simply put, I'm really not in the mood to post anything grandiose. I do not plan to write any long and eloquent post. I plan to post many photos and short explanations. This is primarily due to a series of stress sources and irritations I've recently had tossed onto my overburdened shoulders. So I expect all of you to enjoy this post, say wonderful things about it, comment with positive messages and keep any negative comments/thoughts to yourself because I will not react or respond to them in a favorable light/fashion. Thank you.

Beginning of the First Day in Japan

Train Station while En Route to Matsumoto

My Room

The Taimatsu Matsuri. (Three of the greatest girls in Japan [who would kill me if they knew I posted this photo]) Sam and I doing our part.

Exploring Matsumoto. Mountains close to our home.

That's all I feel like doing for today. I'll add more tomorrow if I feel up for it. If not, it will be shortly thereafter.

The Matsumoto Saga pt. 1

2009-09-20T22:52:00.000-07:00

After a very long flight (~24 hours of travel time) Sam and I landed in Japan. It was a surreal experience. We landed around 17:00 and the sunset from the plane was the most wonderful one I've ever seen in my life. We touched down in Nagoya and swiftly made our way through customs and etc. We ran into a very helpful woman who, upon realizing we really had no idea how to navigate the train system (with an expression of virtual horror for us), proceeded to give us the names of the places and trains we need to take to get where we wanted to go. We purchased the needed tickets and made it to our train right before the doors closed. It was pretty exciting; especially because we weren’t 100% sure it was the right one until almost the end of the ride.
At the end of about 30 minutes we found ourselves in the Nagano Train station. In all honesty, it was very intimidating. Not only were there hundreds of Japanese people running around, but we were completely lost. Just for the record, I speak no Japanese. However, due to the size of Nagoya many people spoke enough English to get their point across. After about a twenty minutes of aimless wandering, we found the ticket booth place that was not automated (because we looked at those ones…yeah all in Japanese and only had the rail numbers…no way to know what it was telling us). After waiting in line for a while Sam and I finally got to the counter. The man there was really nice, which seems to be a trend, he helped us figure out which tickets we needed to buy. We accomplished this rather rapidly, however there was a catch. The guy looked at his watch and then at us, it suddenly became rather apparent that there was a large problem. There weren’t any more trains to Matsumoto that night. We went ahead and bought tickets for the next morning.
A wee bit lost and dazed, Sam and I made our way outside. We set up against a wall. I’m sure we were quite the sight; two Gaijin sitting against a wall outside of the train station with enough luggage to hide three bodies in, looking moderately crazed and hungry. I was perfectly content to sit against the wall and sleep in shifts, but after two hours, Sam decided it would be best to alter our plans a bit, you know by adding a hotel room into the mix or something…
To shorten things a bit, Sam and I got a hotel room and dropped our stuff off, allowing us to explore the city and such, which we did. Later than night, we returned to the hotel and fell into a fitful quasi-slumber. We woke up at about four and messed around until it was time for our train to come. We made our way to the station and away we went. It wasn’t too hard to figure things out. The trick is looking at numbers and matching Kanji. If it looks like what your ticket says, do it.
After a wonderfully scenic two hour train ride, we found ourselves in Matsumoto. This would be the train station and view surrounding it at about 9:00 when we arrived.

Lovely isn't it?

Anyway, Sam and I soon found ourselves meeting up with Daniel, an Oklahoma native who’s now teaching English at a high school near Matsumoto. He’s been a huge help in getting us to our hotel and showing us around the city a bit. He actually took us to a nice little restaurant that was way more food than I could eat for a grand total of 500 ¥ which is the equivalent to about $5.20. Mind you, here, that is fairly cheap. Most places give you half the food for the same cost.
Eventually Daniel had to bolt, so Sam and I opted to explore the town a bit. It is a beautiful city. It’s absolutely stunning. I’m sad I haven’t gotten too many shots of it yet, but I’m sure there will be more.

Sam and I are staying in Smile Hotel. I get a kick out of the name, though it really does live up to it. The workers here don't seem to stop smiling, but it could be becuase they're humoring the poor gaijin who can't speak Nihongo yet. Below are a few shots of the hotel and Daniel, so you get to see a bit more of it.

Those first two images are of Sam and me triumphantly displaying our first ever purchase in the JASCO mall/store/thing. It would be our feast. Yes, the feast of kings. (i.e. Bananas, bread, and some juice.)

Anyway, to end this blog swifty, because it has already become the evolved form of an uber post, indeed the SUPER UBER POST (note: SUPER UBER POST must always be written in CAPS or it ceases to be a SUPER UBER POST and thusly reducing its awesome and potentially destroying the universe) will be to share photos of the park near our hotel, Agata no mori.

This is merely the entrance. The park is astounding. It has a playground, a walkway over a small pond with Koi and crazy awesome pidgeons...

Thus ends my SUPER UBER POST. I hope you all enjoyed it and will be sticking with me throughout my sporadic posts and such.

Rocking Labor Day In A Way Only The Japanese Can...With Two REALLY White Americans...

2009-09-08T06:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Labor Day...which if you think about it, the name is actually a bit oxymoronic. Nobody seems to work on Labor Day, so why not call it "Lazy Day" or "We Don't Have To Work Day?" Just strikes me as a bit of a contradiction, but I digress.

As I said, yesterday was Labor Day, so there was neither work, nor school. This presented a wonderful opportunity to, as Sam would say, "dick around." I'm fond of that term due to the implications thereof. The word "dick" originally was just a slang term for "fellow" or any random guy. However, around 1908 it began to be used to represent detectives. So I’d say "dicking around" would entail, exploring, discovering new and hidden things, and/or unlocking the secrets of the world. So thank you Sam for that wonderful expression. Yet again, I digress.

Sam and I met with our counterpart, Naho from Shinshu University, a few days ago and decided we needed to take a trip to Tulsa to show her around and let her get out and experience Oklahoma. We don't have any transportation systems like she would be used to in Japan, so I volunteered to get us there.

By the time our trip was underway, we had gained another passenger on our vessel designated for this sacred pilgrimage to the Holy City of Tulsa. Keiko Tanimura, an exchange student from Kansai Gaidai joined us. So we set sail with our two civilian passengers, Naho Ikeda and Keiko Tanimura, Blue Ball (Sam) as co-pilot/navigator and me, Captain Phantom Silver, at the helm. It was a long and arduous journey, full of adventure and dangers beyond your wildest imaginings, but finally after an hour and twenty minutes, we found ourselves cruising within the relative safety of our Holy City. The view was breathtaking as we breached the outer sanctum; the awed gasps from our civilian passengers echoed my own silent thoughts. It was quite the sight to behold. My co-pilot Blue Ball congratulated me on a job well done, but I knew we would have been lost were it not for him and his knowledge, experience and expertise. It was a privilege to have him on-board.

We found a resting spot at the docking bay. Many other vessels were present, though there was space enough for us and mine. We exited and began our walk about the city. Naho and Keiko were quite enthralled with everything. They stopped to take photos of anything, including a rather remarkable cottonwood tree. The tree itself was probably two to three hundred years old. It was very impressive. As our journey progressed we eventually made our way to the Bridge of Divine Awesomeness which crosses the Holy Waters River. It was a long walk across the bridge, but the Holy Waters was teaming with life below. Sanctified Turtle-kind swam near the surface and Saved Alligator Garr, with all the other Blessed Fish-folk swam in its depths.
After a fair number of hours spent walking, it was time to hit the shoppers’ mecca. The mall in the Holy City of Tulsa isn’t the largest, but it makes up for it in quality. Many more hours were spent in this glorious place. Our civilians made a point to enjoy most every shop in the mall. It was nice to sit and relax with my co-pilot as they ran about and flitted in and out of every store. As time wore on, it eventually came to the time where we would need to depart in order to make other scheduled engagements. So, being the captain, I sent my co-pilot/navigator Blue Ball to rein in the civilians while I attended to more captain appropriate duties. We gave Naho and Keiko an additional ten minutes to finish shopping before our scheduled departure. At the end of the ten minutes both Blue Ball and I found ourselves at a loss for words and deeply appreciative as our civilian passengers returned with gifts for their beloved captain and my co-pilot/navigator.
After many words of thanks and a photo, my crew and I found ourselves loaded up in my vessel and flying out of the Holy City.

Throughout our journey home we all conversed excitedly and with great animation, sharing stories and personal histories with each other. The time seemed to fly by us as we flew closer and closer to our final destination.
Upon the arriving home, we all parted and went our separate ways. Waving and smiling, we all found ourselves each going a different direction, yet I knew in that moment that Naho and Keiko were no longer just the civilians traveling on my vessel, but members of my crew. They can join us again any time.

Captain Phantom Silver –Out.

Nursery Rhymes Rewritten so as to Allow You to Catch the Deeper Meaning

2009-08-27T11:39:00.000-07:00

Writer's note: These are not original pieces of work. They are nursery rhymes much older than any of you. I've modified them slightly so as to emphasize the meaning. This, sadly, has resulted in a bit of a loss in the area of rhyming, but it's still fairly close. Now please enjoy.

1. My Darling Clementine

Oh my darling Clementine. You are lost for me forever. I'm so sorry, my Clementine.
You drove ducklings to the ocean every morning at nine. Though you hit foot against a splinter, then fell into the foaming brine. Your ruby lips struggled to stay above the water, blowing bubbles so very soft and fine...but alas, I was no swimmer and neither were you, my love, my Clementine.
In a graveyard near the canyon, where the myrtle doth entwine, there grow rosies and some posies, fertilized by your frail body, my darling Clementine.

2. Ladybug Ladybug

Ladybug ladybug fly away home! Your house in on fire and your children are all dead. Well, all except one and that’s little Ann, for she crept under the frying pan. Resulting in an unknown fate.

3.Goosey Goosey Gander

Goosey goosey gander where shall I wander? Upstairs, downstairs and in my lady’s chamber. There I met an old man who wouldn’t say his prayers! So naturally, I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs.

4. There Was an Old Woman

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. A poor and destitute single mother. She had so many children, she really couldn't take care of them. She gave them all she could afford, which was some broth without any bread. They threw a fit, so she acted out in desperation, venting her frustrations by whipping them all soundly, and sending them to bed.

5. Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water from the well there. Jack lost his balance because he was carrying a bucket full of heavy water, being a little boy, and fell down the hill. Landing on his head, he received severe head injuries. Subsequently, Jill thinking it was all a game, proceeded to roll down after him.

6. Ring around the Rosies

I have a red rosy rash! I'll protect myself with the healing qualities of a pocket full of posies. Oh no! They're not working...Ashes! Ashes! They're everywhere as they burn the bodies of my dead family and neighbors. They boarded up their houses with all their possessions and burned those too. Now we all fall down because we're dying of plague.

Thank you all. I hope you have a lovely day!

Felt like sharing this again...they're so horribly entertaining...

2009-08-09T21:21:00.000-07:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

A Sad Day Indeed

2009-07-29T11:33:00.000-07:00

I recently just cleaned everything off of my computer. It was intentional, believe it or not, but it was. However, I love how I still managed to contract a virus the very day I cleaned it. Go figure huh? Anyway, the point of this post wasn't to moan and complain about stupid computer problems. It was, however, for the purpose of complaining about my ever deteriorating writing abilities. While I was in the process of saving and transferring from my computer to a portable hard drive, I spent a decent amount of time reading through my old files and writings and etc. Needless to say, I discovered that I was actually a darn good writer. The imagery I used was so vivid and real I almost felt like I was experiencing it personally and that I could feel everything. It was easy to imagine everything, even though I had no real recollection of my original imaginings. It was something new and exciting. I really enjoyed it. Though I must admit, my style of writing was something close to horrendous. However, as I said, the imagery was astonishing. At the conclusion of my readings I was stricken with a certain sadness or sorrow unlike others I've become well acquainted with over the years. It was a feeling, or realization rather, that my ability to use imagery to paint wondrous pictures in the minds of my readers...has seemingly began its terrible and swift slide down to mediocrity. It's bothersome really. I read through much of my writings and mentally compared them to my current things, the results were painful. So I've opted to share a piece of poetry with you. Yes, a poem. A rather sad poem, but one of an interesting nature. Keep in mind it was written at the ripe old age of...15-17 I believe. I think 17 is when I quit with poetry for a long time. Though I do believe this was attempt number two with rhyming. Up to that point it was all free-verse. Yay free-verse. So here it is.

In the eyes of Venus

Run through the shadows seeking a face
My thoughts turned above
I’m running a race
Hiding and fighting I’ll be by thy side
Running forever
‘Til I have been tried

Bleeding black roses cast out in the sun
I’m coming and going
I’ll never be done
Listless and fading
I beg thee to rise
Hoping and praying
To be seen in thine eyes.

Venus, my Venus, will I ever be there
Protecting thy soul
And leaving mine bare
Black beasts may take me and tear me apart
But I shall be strong
When protecting thy heart.

In no way sufficient or worthy, I’m sure,
I suffer for thee in attempts to be pure
Knowing I’m worthless
But begging to try
One day you’ll see me
Or surely I’ll die

Bleeding black roses cast out in the sun
I’m coming and going
I’ll never be done
Listless and fading
I beg thee to rise
Hoping and praying
To be seen in thine eyes.

Venus, my Venus, will I ever be there
Protecting thy soul
And leaving mine bare
Black beasts may take me and tear me apart
But I shall be strong
When protecting thy heart.

I’ll tear through the graveyard in search for the stone
Which harbors my soul
I’ll let it be known
I stand on the ground now curséd and weeping
You lie undisturbed
Peaceful and sleeping.

Bleeding black roses cast out in the sun
I’m coming and going
I’ll never be done
Listless and fading
I beg thee to rise
Hoping and praying
To be seen in thine eyes.

Venus, my Venus, will I ever be there
Protecting thy soul
And leaving mine bare
Black beasts may take me and tear me apart
But I shall be strong
When protecting thy heart.

Say unto me “Now let us be one”
I’ll rise to the heavens
“It’ll surly be done.”

Bleeding black roses cast out in the sun
I’m coming and going
I’ll never be done
Listless and fading
I beg thee to rise
Hoping and praying
To be seen in thine eyes.

Venus, my Venus, will I ever be there
Protecting thy soul
And leaving mine bare
Black beasts may take me and tear me apart
But I shall be strong
When protecting thy heart.

A reviewing of my earlier discussion on "All the Good Guys are Taken"

2009-07-01T09:59:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week or later last week (not sure which. Time has begun to smear together), I had a discussion with one of my good female friends about how 'all the good guys are taken.' This comment made me laugh a bit. I then implored, what exactly made a guy a 'good guy.' Her response was a series of moderately coherent sentences, most of which made no real sense. Laughing again, I proceeded to point out my very single relationship status and ask if that meant I wasn't a 'good guy.' At which time she began covering up everything in an attempt to ease the whole situation. It really didn't need to be covered up, but it was certainly one of those 'open mouth and insert foot' moments. Anyway, this comment sparked another series of conversations about past relationships and future ones and eventually everything a girl looks for in a guy. After a large amount of time and much discussion I drew this conclusion:

Girls really have no idea what they want. They just want it...and they want it now.

If I were to use one of my many not-so-great analogies, I'd compare women, who are seeking the 'perfect guy' or 'good guy' as I said earlier, to a little blindfolded child holding a large torch, running through a field of wheat or tall dead grass...whichever you prefer.
Seeing as how the majority of people who read this blog are actually female, I must apologize for that comment. I also need to apologize for the rest of this post. Hopefully I haven't offended you too much...not that I honestly care THAT much. =P

Anyway, my reasoning for this analogy is rather simple. A child will naturally run around in a big field, aimlessly and without real direction, yet if you blindfold the child, it adds a degree of chaos to the mix. It either becomes a desperate search to find safety and security or it's all just one really big game.

So the field represents all the guys in the world. Some wheat/grass stand higher (good guys) than others (average douche bag) and lean toward the blindfolded child (girl). Now remember, the little child is carrying a torch. Torch=fire. Fire=toasted wheat/grass. Now, the torch represents the relationship. The fiery passion and feelings one experiences in a very good relationship or any really strong exchange of feelings and emotions.

Now image this little girl figure running chaotically (as all little girls run, especially when playing games) through this field of guys with her torch. What do you think would happen? Naturally she fries all of the tall good wheat/grass. Leaving only the average douche bag type wheat/grass.

So if we take a step back and look at this scenario, what just happened? You have a girl running around desperate, or thinking it's all a game, (much like many girls in real life while searching for guys) with her torch (relationship) burning all the good wheat/grass.

So if my analogy has failed me, which I think it may have, it boils down to this: Girls in their ever chaotic search for the guy of their dreams, jump in and out of relationships with all the good guys. In the process burning/hurting/destroying/whatever them. Naturally girls don't realize this is happening because they're 'blindfolded.' The blindfold represents the fact that in their search for this wonderful guy, they're oblivious to most of the damage that they cause as they jump around. The girl may have even encountered their perfect guy, yet due to the fact they are constantly running around visiting old wheat/grass or searching for new wheat/grass, they totally miss what they had and could have had. So in the end of this chaotic run, the little girl is left in a field of burned and destroyed wheat/grass, left with only the shorter, less wholesome stalks that only really wanted a piece of her anyway. So in the attempt to find the perfect guy, they ignore what they truly feel and also the damage they cause as they flit about. This results in them being left with only the crappy douche bags who want to take them home for a night and then never see them again. Why is this? Because they burned all the other guys who would have given all they had just to be around them, who would have given their hearts away in a handbag just to make these little girls happy, they are left with people they acknowledge aren't everything they ever dreamed of. They aren't their knights in shining armor.

So why are all the good guys taken, you ask.

The answer is, they aren't. You just screwed us over, then got screwed over yourselves. So stop whining about it. ^_^

That was my post for the day. It wasn't directed at any one individual, but was a generalized answer to a popular question. If you find that much of this cuts you personally, there is probably a reason for that and you might want to assess your life and figure out why and what you have done to feel that way. ^_^ I love you all. Have a nice day.

This Was Way Too Long....But I Was Way Too Bored

2009-06-27T15:54:00.000-07:00

THE LONG & UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY
(Lets see if you can get through it.)

LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE.
1. Name: Jesse
2. Birth Date: August 23
3. Current Location: On a chair that spins at work.
4. Hair Color: darker brown. Started out blond and has continued to get darker throughout my life.
5. Righty/Lefty: Strongly right. Can still fight and use a sword with left, so I'm still okay.

LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.
6. Your fear: Things beyond my control.
7. Your dream of the perfect date: Anything that would end up being worth remembering in a good way. ^_^
8. Goal you'd like to achieve: Be happy with who I am, where I am in life and what I'm doing.

LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.
9. Your thoughts first waking up: Ugh...I have to put that crap in the dogs eyes...stupid dog.
10. Your best physical feature: The left half of my lower lip...what? It's got a cool little freckle thing that nobody notices.
11. Your bed time: Whenever I'm tired and NOT at work...
12. Your most missed memory: Anything before the age of 10.

LAYER 4: YOUR PICK.
13. Pepsi or Coke: Depends if I want the lasting kick or the "wow, first swallow was amazing!"
14. McDonald's or Burger king: Probs McD's
15. Single or Group Dates: Haha! Date...psh.
16. Adidas or Nike: Neither. TOMS, Vibram Five Fingers, ECCOs or AE flipflops.
17. Cappuccino or Coffee: Neither.

LAYER 5: DO YOU.
18. Smoke: Negativo.
19. Take showers: I do.
20. Have a crush: HA!
21. Like school: I'll love it this fall if I'm actually in Japan. If I'm not...then assuredly not.
22. Believe in yourself: Uh...?
23. Believe what goes around comes around: Yeah. Especially if it's that playground game with the ball on the end of a rope that you hit back and forth. Remember: If you hit it really hard...duck.
24. Believe everything happens for a reason: Absolutely. Though sometimes I hate the reasons. ^_^
25. Think you're a health freak: Yes and No. I do the best that I can, but what I put myself through will result in a premature death.

LAYER 6: IN THE PAST MONTH.
26. Gone to the mall: I don't believe so.
27. Eaten sushi: Nope.
28. Been hurt: ^_^ I can't ever seem to help it.
29. Dyed your hair: No.

LAYER 7: HAVE YOU EVER:
30. Played a stripping game: ^_^ Yup.
31. Been beaten up: Once. I never let it happen again.
32. Changed who you were to fit in: I adapt to what I need to be.

LAYER 8: GETTING OLD.
33. Age you're hoping to be married by: I'll be happy if/when it happens.
34. Number of kids you're planning on having? That's my wife's call. She's the one carrying them for nine months. I'd be happy with any.

LAYER 9: IN A GIRL/GUY:
35. Best eye color: Any. ^_^ As long as they shine when she's happy.
36. Best hair color: Any.
37. Short or long hair: Strictly depends on personality and facial features/shape.
38. Fat or fit: Fit. Sorry.
39. Looks or personality: Looks are important at first. I won't pursue you if you are not attractive to me, yet after that point, personality is everything.
40. Fun or serious: Both.

LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING.
41. 1 MINUTE AGO: typing answers to this survey
42. 1 HOUR AGO: Sitting at work doing nothing...wait...I'm STILL doing that.
43. 1 WEEK AGO: Having the most useless weekend of my life. It was pretty pathetic. Not that this weekend is any better.
44. 1 YEAR AGO: I really don't know.

LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE.
45. I FEEL: disconnected.
46. I HATE: nothing. Dislike a good number of things.
47. I HIDE: in my room...not that it keeps things out. lol
48. I NEED: something to do. Probably going running later...without music...which=suck
49. I LOVE: adventure. The feeling of doing something you love regardless of the costs. Being surrounded by people you love and who love you in return. The sense of security one has when most things in their life are lining up perfectly.

50. What is a food that you'd hate to be allergic to? Anything. That would pretty much suck period.

51. What color was the last towel you used? Green.

52. Would you prefer to date someone taller, shorter, or the same height as you? Shorter would be nice. Helps ease the 'Man Stress Over Not Being Manly Enough' that comes with having a girlfriend that's taller than you.

53. When was the last time your nose bled? umm... I don't remember

54. How old are you turning this year? 21...in 56 days.

55. What is your favorite thing to snack on while watching a movie? Popcorn...chips...anything unhealthy. lol

56. Swimming pool or hot tub? Both.

57. Can you swim well? Fairly well.

58. What body part do you wash first in the shower? Uh...Face/left arm/chest...it's all interchangeable.

59. Who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day? I'd rather have nobody read my thoughts. ^_^ They are one of the few things that are my own. Sacred in a sense.

60. What kind of first impression do you think you make? From what I understand, I come across as cocky, aloof, arrogant, unapproachable and detached from everyone else (pretty much the same thing as aloof).

61. Name your last reason for using a camera? To take it on a test run.

62. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? I don't recall.

63. What are you excited about? Moving to Japan. It's virtually the only thing on my mind as of late. Well that and July 18th. But that's a new addition. So pretty much just moving to Japan.

64. When was the last time you laughed really hard & why? Um...I think it was while reading Cyanide and Happiness comics.

65. What are you wearing? First thing I grabbed. Jean shorts, Brown shirt with darker brown stripes...or lighter stripes...depending on your perspective and my desert jasper Mala. Oh! And my TOMS. And a ring on my right pointer finger...I WAS wearing green combat hand wraps, but took those off after I got done practicing and came to work to rot...^_^

66. Did you enjoy your weekend? Not really. Crappy ending to a rather crappy week. lol

67. Do you regret anything you've done recently? I try not to regret anything. I merely try to learn from my experiences.

68. Is there anybody you wish you could see? A fair number of people. Many of them it will never happen. Literally.

69. Have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with J or M? Unfortunately I have.

70. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Um...this is going to sound bad...but 0. I have never told anyone everything. But there are a few who are very close.

71. Do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? It would be nice. I'd be almost 31 and unmarried. Gay.

72. What makes you mad most about guys/girls? Hormones.

73. Do you even like getting flowers? I do, actually. Though it never happens due to me being male.

74. What's your favorite flowers? I like lots. ^_^

75. Does it bother you when your friends bring up your past mistakes? It does. Trust me. I'm more aware of my past mistakes than they are. I don't need them bringing them up again.

76. Could you go out in public looking like you do now? Yes, though it wouldn't be particularly wonderful.

77. Can you be your complete self around the person you like? If I knew who that was...I might be able to. ^_^

78. Whose the first person you texted today? I'd rather not say. I don't even like them. I was just bored and they texted me yesterday.

79. Would you move to another state to be with the person you loved? Haha! When I find them, I'm sure that would be one of the smallest things I'd be willing to do for them.

80. Do you ever get a text saying good morning? I do.

81. Last movie you watched? I believe it was Forever Strong. Nope. I take that back. 5 centimeters per Second.

82. What are you doing tomorrow? Not sure. Work, bit of church, more work, family dinner, hiding in my room so I can write or something, sleeping and not wanting it to be Monday. That about wraps it up.

83. How's the weather today? Hot. Supposedly 103-104

84. Where is the person you need most right now? Dead and hopefully in heaven. ^_^ p.s. I love you beautiful.

85. What color are your eyes? Right now...let me check...blue/gray with the dark blue circle around the outside of the iris being thicker and darker than usual.

86. Do you like poptarts? All but strawberry milkshake flavored ones. Being spattered with them after you flip your car kinda ruins it for you.

87. Where will you be 12 hours from now? Probably working or sleeping or something.

88. Is it easy for others to make you feel intimidated? Depends on the person. No males. Mostly females.

89. Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow? Nope. Probably a black suit at one point with a green tie. Though we'll need to see.

90. Are you on a desktop or laptop? Laptop

91. Does anyone hate you for no reason? Haha! I'm sure. I know there have been quite a few.

92. Can you make yourself cry? I could at one point, tears and all. Now it's just the facial expression. Which is kinda sad because I can't really even cry for real very much.

93. Play an instrument? piano, trombone, didgeridoo...started on the bagpipes and violin...

94. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? to observe or to change? Probably not. Tampering with things like that would likely result in a changing of my current situation and probably causing me to never have met many people or gone through many experiences that I have...all of which have shaped me into the person I am now.

95. What are your favorite colors? green (any shade) and any darker shade of red or blue.

96. Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? ^_^

97. Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with an R? I don't believe so.

98. Have you ever passed out? I do believe so. Once was blood loss, the other was due to a large amount of fatigue.

99. Are you easily confused? No.

100. Do you think you would make a good wife/husband? I could only hope.

101. What's your favorite kind of ice cream? Mint Chocolate Chip...but I'm a connoisseur of sorts when it comes to ice cream.

102. Do you like coffee? I like the smell of it much more than the taste.

103. Do you like summer? I love it. Though I prefer spring.

104. Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color? Yes.

105. What color are your socks? Psh...socks are for the weak! jk.

106. Where were you at 8am this morning? Wishing I could stay asleep.

107. Do you fall for people easily? No. It's a rather long process, though when it happens...it's a long hard fall.

108. Have you ever dated someone more than once? unfortunately.

109. Who have you texted in the last 24 hours? Hannah and one other who I only texted because I was bored.

110. Last thing you got in the mail? A medical bill.

111. What is your current crave? Not sure. Probably food, due to me not eating enough of it.

112. What color nail polish is on your toes? Uh....none?

113. Do you find members of the preferred sex confusing? Not really.

114. What are you listening to right now? Lifehouse is playing now, but....now it's The Scientist by Coldplay.

115. How has the week been? One of my worst in a while.

116. Is there something you wish you could tell someone but can't? Everyday there is something. So I just whisper it either to myself, or will it to them with my heart and mind. lol

117. What are your biggest turn offs? Smoking, swearing, lack of maternal instincts.

118. Favorite shirt to wear? Depends on my mood.

119. Favorite drink? Depends on my mood again. Though water is always good.

120. Last person to say 'I love you' to you? My dad. In a text I never replied to.

121. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Um...No, don't think so.

122. What's your favorite color gummy bear? White...clear...? Whatever color it counts for.

123. What is the nicest part of the opposite sex's body? Hmmm...that's hard. Face would be the most important to me. That and symmetry. if you're symmetrical and have eyes that shine when you're happy...I'm pretty much all over that.

124. Have you ever run into a dishwasher? No.

125. Ever had a song sung about/for you? I think so. Apparently it wasn't worth remembering much though.

126. Is there a baby in the room with you right now? No.

127. Do you know how to dance? I do. I love it actually. Waltzing is a blast. So are many of the Latin styles I know.

128. Where do you sing the most? the car or in my room.

129. What is your favorite thing that is green? Hahaha! So many things...

130. What did your last text message say? and I quote: "K"

131. What is the way to your heart? Be yourself and have that be something worth being.

132. What do you smell like? Right now...Not sure.

133. What's in your pocket? Keys. My phone and wallet are on the counter.

134. Anything in your mouth? Teeth...tongue...salivary glands...basic mouth stuff.

135. Ever hurt yourself playing Wii? No.

136. Do you have freckles? I do. Not too prevalent anymore, but I do.

137. How many languages can you speak? With relative fluency...Spanish and English. Minimum of a sentence or more (usually more): French, Italian, German, Japanese, Quechua, Chewa (I think that's right), Portuguese, Cantonese, Korean, Maori...and I think that's it...

138. What's the last movie you saw in the theater? I don't remember.

139. Ever jumped/fallen/been pushed in a pool with your clothes on? Yes. For a second I though that was going to say "off a building" which I also would have said 'yes' to.

140. Are you wearing any clothes that you wore yesterday? No...well my Mala, but that doesn't count.

141. Name a song that you know all the words to? I know quite a few.

142. What's the last thing you watched on TV? I don't even know the last time I watched TV, let alone what I watched.

143. What's the last video game you played? Not sure.

144. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? I can.

145. Do you wear glasses? I do not. Though eventually I might need some.

146. Did you feel better or worse or the same yesterday? Same.

147. What was your favorite childhood show? I don't remember. But there were some good ones.

148. Are you close to your siblings? I like to think so.

149. Do you bite your nails? I do. ^_^ Don't mind it though. Keeps them short for martial arts.

150. Do you like your feet? Sure. They get me places, help me climb and fight. What's not to like?

151. Do you sleep well at night? Not really.

Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day

2009-06-26T09:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was easily the most wonderful day of my life…and by wonderful I mean not wonderful…and by not wonderful I mean sucktastic…and by sucktastic I mean my day probably resembled a brand new airplane getting ready to take off for its first time…and right before it gets off the ground it explodes as its careening down the runway full of happy passengers. Then the subsequent explosion causes molten hot bits of the plane to smash into the flight tower…resulting in all of the other planes in the sky to explode (don’t ask me why. They just exploded…trust me) then fall from the sky and destroy the enormous airport, which then blew up and caused a chain reaction that eventually destroyed the world…
…
…
Okay maybe not the world, but at the very least Wisconsin. Sorry Wisconsin.
Anyway, the reasoning for my day to earn the title of “terrible, horrible, no good and very bad” was due to a series of events…which started at the time of 0700 hours.
For those of you who do not know, one of my jobs is working in a BSL 2 Veterinary Pathobiology Laboratory. It was here that my day began its screaming spiral of fiery doom. I had four flasks capable of holding four liters of fluids, each filled with two liters of BHI broth (brain heart infusion)…which, I soon would find out, is much more than it seems. So, as fate would have it, I proceeded to the common equipment room with my flasks of broth, wherein is located a HIGHLY expensive series of laboratory equipment, including a large shaker incubator. The incubator was the focus of my attention as I wheeled my cart full of a cumulative eight liters of BHI into the common equipment room. All was going smoothly. My boss had only given me a hard time in jest (which is a norm) and I was happy with a slight bounce in my step. It was going to be a bright and wonderful day…or so I thought.
As time progressed, I had managed to get three of the four liter flasks secured in the incubator with the springs that reside in it for that very purpose. All was going smoothly.
Then I got to the fourth one.
The fourth flask gave me trouble from the start. It was determined to give me a hard time and not fit between the springs or anywhere for that matter. I think that the springs and flask were secretly in cahoots with each other, trying their hardest to keep me from accomplishing this simple task.
Anyway, I spent probably a good ten to fifteen minutes trying to get the flask situated, dealing with springs popping off, the flask slipping out…the whole bit. I became increasingly frustrated as time wore on…though finally I got it secured. Sweetness… oh wait…no I didn’t.
Fail.
As I turn to leave my well secured items to spin and let the little bacteria grow into big and strong bacteria multiplied by the millions… a spring came loose. This spring then proceeded to shatter the aforementioned fourth flask, causing glass shards and BHI to fly everywhere, in the process filling this $50,000 piece of equipment with 2 liters of contaminated fluids that are heaven for any sort of bacteria to grow and multiply. Not to mention the pieces of glass that were everywhere including submerged (yes…like I said, two liters is much more than it seems) in the BHI barely visible.
I will sadly admit that small amounts of profanity slipped out at this time.
Okay. So now I’ve potentially ruined a very expensive piece of equipment, not to mention assuredly ruined two liters of BHI inoculated with specific and needed bacteria.
So naturally I have to take everything apart and try to fix it, including nearly ripping my own arms off in the process, dealing with screws so corroded they wouldn’t even turn, getting everything spotless and perfectly cleaned only to dump the same contaminated fluids all over everything again because I didn’t realize there was an extra metal plate underneath the main part that held ample amounts of the BHI and so on and so on and so on. Trust me, it just kept going.
This fiasco took me two hours to fix. Two hours I needed for growing the bacteria that I then needed to make up…putting everything else behind schedule, making me late for my second job and etc.
I’m really not going to go into the rest of the events that transpired that day. There were too many. Though I’ll give a shortened list that may help to outline some of the few continued problems:
Almost broke $50,000 of equipment, broke $75 flask, received minor frost bite on my right thumb, couldn’t feel thumb completely for 3 hours, didn’t finish all the work at first job, late to second job as a result, drove a small nail into part of left thumb, wasted materials because I couldn’t get the stupid plaques to come out straight, accidentally stuck box cutter into right palm, wasted more material at second job, developed severe headache, Michael Jackson died, some other person died, headache got worse, wanted to either die or go to bed at 20:22…neither happened, was then nagged at until 22:56…went to my room because headache was now ringing and right arm was still hurting as it had been all day and for the previous two-three days, finally laid in bed and listened to music until I fell into blissful unconsciousness sometime around 01:00…
Like I said… the shortened version.
So that was my terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.
The simplified version.

Though on the bright side I started talking to a friend I haven’t heard from in months and we’re either hanging out in OK over the weekend around the 18th of July or they’re stealing me away to Arkansas for a bit…either of which will be welcomed.

Here’s to you: A Conglomeration of Various Reasons as to Why My Friends Are Pretty Awesome

2009-06-20T11:26:00.000-07:00

Seeing as how I’ve failed to update in a long time I felt the need to do so. This doesn’t mean I have anything to add mind you, it merely means I have a desire to put something on this page.
As it would turn out I really didn’t have anything to write, yet despite that I threw together something I’d like to call “Here’s to you: A Conglomeration of Various Reasons as to Why My Friends Are Pretty Awesome”
Here’s to you.

Here’s to you who’ve always been by my side: At a concert, during a game, in a fight, while I slept and/or while using the trough urinals in old stadiums and locker rooms.
Here’s to you who’ve put up with my moods: Blithe, lugubrious, solicitous, placid, choleric and so on.
Here’s to you who understand what I’m saying when I use words of a pretentious nature in colloquy, repartee or even simple exchanges.
Here’s to you who have walked in on me while partially dressed (or not at all) and then apologize as you scurried out the door.
Here’s to you who have walked in on me while partially dressed (or not at all) and continued talking to me as though it were nothing only because you were virtually naked (or completely) as well.
Here’s to you who know what I’m saying even when it doesn’t come out right.
Here’s to you who can argue with me about nothing for hours and not care.
Here’s to you who can be kicked in the testicles during a sparring match so hard it hurts my leg and still be my friend after you recover.
Here’s to you who are willing to walk for miles with me and just talk.
Here’s to you who have seen me snap and had the guts to slap me out of it.
Here’s to you who can laugh at the fact we became best friends only after I lit you on fire.
Here’s to you who can actually hold a sustained deep conversation with me for a minimum of an hour.
Here’s to you who can shoot me in the eye with an airsoft gun and me say “good shot” rather than beat you into nothingness.
Here’s to you who were called my husband, as an insult from a moron, only to look at me and we both start laughing.
Here’s to you with whom I can have the greatest and straightest bromance anyone’s experienced.
Here’s to you with whom phone conversations can last hours, but while in person no words are needed.
Here’s to you who deserved to be quoted on my Facebook.
Here’s to you who’d help me move bodies when the need arose.
Here’s to you who is loved enough to have an “our song.”
Here’s to you who’d always come find me when I needed saving.
Here’s to you with whom I risk my life and enjoy every second of it.
Here’s to you who love me regardless.
Here’s to you who encourage me to do stupid and potentially dangerous things because we both know I can pull them off.
Here’s to you who I can put up with.
Here’s to you who can put up with me.
Here’s to you who know the difference between arrogance and well placed self-confidence.
Here’s to you who make me the best I can be just by being you.
Here’s to you for whom I’d wait out on your corner in the pouring rain.
Here’s to you who laugh because you know I have ‘bad days’ too.
Here’s to you who are willing to put up with all my quirks.
Here’s to you who I love enough to be mentioned in this blog post.
Here’s to you who I’m lucky enough to call my friends.
Here’s to you who are willing to call me your friend too.

Thank you. You’re pretty much every degree of awesome.
And to those of you who are not mentioned in this…there’s probably a reason for that.

I hope you enjoyed my post for the day as much as I did.
Have a nice day and be happy everyone.

Number two

2009-05-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

Videos Didn't load. Number 1

2009-05-09T18:52:00.000-07:00

Another Fine Weekend

2009-05-09T18:25:00.000-07:00

So this is the video of our great achievement... well mine anyway. Nobody else had managed to make it up the rock. Makes me a wee bit happy on the inside. Though I get a kick out of it all. There were no foot holds on that thing. Made it up using my awesome and black magic. Only way it was doable. Just don't tell the guys. They think I'm cool and I'd hate to let them know I cheated.

And during our climb we had an interesting group of visitors. They circled us for a good amount of time...just waiting for us to fall to our death to allow them to land and tear the dead flesh from our bones...yay morbidity.

I hope you've all enjoyed my brief and rather uneventful post today. As fate would have it, I also have a desire to share all that is amazing with you, my readers. We all know that free climbing is the definition of awesome.

Life is Like Your Favorite Jeans...With a Hole in the Pocket

2009-05-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

Due to the pushing and prodding of various unnamed siblings and other nonexistent individuals, Whitney in particular, I find myself updating this blog.
As it turns out, I can’t just “update” my blog like everyone else. Oh no, I’m forced by some internal necessitation to compose a title like “Life is Like Your Favorite Jeans...with a hole in the pocket” which apparently is an absolute juxtaposition. In complete seriousness, how can life be like a YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF JEANS...with a hole in the pocket?

Honestly? They have nothing in common…at all. Nothing. Two totally different things.
…so naturally…I have to write about them. I need to make the comparison. I MUST take these two seemingly antithetical topics…and transform them, not only into a title, but a coherent rant lasting for pages.

So without further adieu, here it is. “Life is Like Your Favorite Jeans...With a Hole in the Pocket”

Do you often wonder, “Crap, where did I put those keys,” or “Where’s my phone,” all the while patting yourself down looking for bulges and hard bumps in your pant (perverts)? Then frustrated, you stick your hand into your pocket in a desperate search only to find that it isn’t just ‘really big’ but somehow must have created a transdimensional rift causing all of your personal items to fall into the endless void of space. If this is you, then I’m sorry friend, but you have some seriously messed up pants.

For the rest of you, it just means there is a hole in your pocket.
Life is like your favorite jeans...with a hole in the pocket. A bold statement, I know, but true none the less.

Existence is akin to jeans in general, yet your life is agnate to your personal favorite pair, the likes of which is being worn through a journey known as mortality.

As I said, life is like your favorite pair of jeans. You are comfortable in them. You are perfectly content to go about the journey in comfort and style. Yet, as time wears on your jeans wear out. Rips are made and holes are worn. Unfortunately a hole appears in the place that you store everything, your pocket. As you continue to walk, things start falling out and you lose them. You lose your wallet, your keys, your phone, your job, your mind and eventually your life.

It’s all just part of the journey in your favorite pair of jeans. You lose things, lots of things, important things. Yet, it’s all just part of the game plan. Do you think when the jean factory made your jeans, they made them infallible? Untouchable? Indestructible?
In case you are wondering: No, no they didn’t.

That’s why they are so comfortable. They get that way through the buffetings of the journey. The more they get worn, the more they become your own. They become something special to you. They become your favorite pair of jeans.

Though as most things go, the jeans get worn out. They get worn until there is nothing left but shreds. A mere shadow of what they once were. It is now time to retire your favorite pair of jeans. Send them back to their maker. Send them to whatever place has been prepared for them after the journey is over.

Many tears are shed at the passing of the favorite pair of jeans. It’s a sad day; in fact, it’s a very sad day. Yet, as we all know, this day will come. It will come for each of us when our favorite jeans have worn out. When the hole in the pocket eventually consumes them and you are left standing naked in a crowd of people, mourning the loss of such a beautiful creation.

So the moral of the story is this:

Get over yourself. Go buy a new pair of jeans before the cops come and bust you for indecent exposure.
Weirdo.

Thank you and have a nice day.

These Videos are Of Eric, Sam, and Me "rocking" out on the weekend

2009-01-31T19:57:00.000-08:00

This one is fun too. The next video will probably be Eric doing his wall flip. It'll be great.

2009-01-31T19:38:00.000-08:00

So yeah, this is me climbing a wall. It's all kinds of fun. Let's see if the flipping thing actually works.

I Agree Because I Must, Therefore I Must Agree

2009-01-27T00:11:00.001-08:00

It's approximately 2:11 and 15 seconds on the 27th day of January. I have been looking at various 'quote(s) of the day' and I happened across "You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her." I wish to agree with this statement. So the following post will be the dissection and analysis of the aforementioned quote.

First and foremost, I wish to stress the fact I am a firm believer in inner beauty. One's looks may be 'sub-par' yet due to their effervescent nature and personality, they seem to become more attractive than others. By the same token, one may be "stunning" on the scale set by the populous, yet due to personality and lack of inner beauty, you might wish to avoid them as though they were carriers of plague.

Now onto the more relevant aspect of this post. When we find ourselves to be fortunate enough to claim that we love someone, we readily admit their beauty and perspective-based perfection to others. Yet how often to we sit and stare at that wonder in front of us? How often do we take the time to memorize their features? Their smile? The way their face brightens when they look at you? Do we really take the time to see the wondrous beauty in front of our eyes? To appreciate its uniqueness and complete originality? To study the way emotions flicker across their face as they lay next to you, dreaming of divine things?
"She is beautiful because you love her." She really is. Though you must understand that if you could ever be lucky enough to have someone love you...and you them, then they are yours. They are your personal work of art, your most beautiful and prized possession. Crafted by the hands of the divine creator and perfected. Yours to adore and be awed by. True beauty.

Again, in reference to the quote, we don't find our love in those who are "beautiful" to the world, but in those who are beautiful to us, no matter what happens or others say. They are our personal rays of sunshine, therefrom we gain the warmth in our hearts and as our love for them grows, so does their unmarrable beauty.

In all, I agree with the quote, those whom we love are beautiful because we love them...and they will continue to grow in beauty. Passing anything that you ever think you could be...but you love them and you always will.

(I apologize if this blog is a bit...odd and doesn't make sense. It's way too early in the morning to type)

School is Like Drinking Hydrochloric Acid...It Eats You From the Inside Out and Eventually Will Kill You

2008-09-25T13:15:00.000-07:00

So after much time and consideration of the various characteristics of different hazardous materials, I've concluded school is tantamount to drinking Hydrochloric acid. I considered comparing it to Sarin due to the fact if you're exposed to it for a short period of time, one begins to develop a runny nose, tightness in the chest and constriction of the pupils. Much like our first week back to school. However, after more time, the student/ victim experiences nausea and drooling. After which the student/ victim begins to lose control of bodily functions by twitching and jerking. Ultimately, after extended exposure to school or Sarin, the student/victim becomes comatose and suffocates in a series of convulsive spasms. Much like school. Amazing isn't it?

However, after much pondering and analysis of other dangerous things, I concluded it would be best to compare going to school to drinking an HCl solution in water (hydrochloric acid). I opted to use this analogy because as you slowly drink the acid, it begins to eat your insides and eventually it will reduce you to a shuddering heap in the corner with your guts turned to goo. You'll need to pardon the graphic imagery used, but I've considered this enough to feel confident that this is an accurate comparison. The more I go to school, the more these individual side effects seem to be surfacing. The drooling, the twitching. ^_^ All of it. So I'm fairly confident, by the end of it, I'll be curled up in a corner somewhere. That's okay though. It seems to happen frequently. As in, more or less every semester. So I suppose it's nothing that should really be worried about, but we all know how I am. If I can babble on about the terrors of university life and education, chances are, I'd do it.

Well that was my pointless cogitation for the day. I hope it was enjoyable and not too disturbingly graphic. Be happy.

Free-running and a Pair of Shoes that Would Terrify Your Grandmother

2008-08-31T15:12:00.001-07:00

Recently I've been returning to a pre-mission passion of mine: free-running. I've been slowly working my way back into that hobby and naturally, like any good hobby does, it's been leaving me bruised and bloody. Just the other day Seth and I went running around Couch Park. We jumped over fences and ran around on Hamilton field. Ran up trees and jumped off of things. The only injury sustained was my leg when I overestimated the distance and underestimated the curvature of a tree. The result was a series of bruises and some blood. Nothing out of the ordinary. However an unforeseen consequence of running hit me the next day. Soreness. I was rather tight and sensitive for the next two days. So it is my intention to go running and burn off some steam. It isn't too hot so I don't predict any problems. I'm planning on running from my house to campus. Cutting across...things...to get to my destination. I got new shoes to do all of this with as well. They are called Vibram Five Fingers. I opted to get the Flows but all of them are impressive and ridiculously comfortable. Though the design is quite shocking. I'd encourage you all to invest a little time into looking them up. You might just be won over and buy a pair for yourself, your kids, and maybe even your dog.Well, I'm off. Be happy.

(photo note: Not my legs or feet. Just some guy on the internet with my shoes)

An interesting insight into the nature of Mochi.

2008-05-29T08:23:00.001-07:00

Well, as I said in my last post, I've been hanging out with Mochi a lot. I've more or less broken through the accent. As it turns out, a result of me now being able to understand him is that I realized he's not going to vet school, but is an Art History major instead. It's ridiculous what an accent can do...

Anyway, so I've been taking Mochi around showing him around campus and introducing him to friends and what not. Well it turns out, he is an amazing photographer. He's startlingly good. After showing me the real way to take photos, I started taking some with him as my model. I was amazed at the increase in ability. He's just got a magical touch I guess. But anyways, I'll post them and give you a rundown as to what's happening.

Alright, after an amazing cup of free ice cream at the Marble Slab, Mochi and I began to walk about campus. It was a beautiful day. There was a breeze and it was cloudy, so there was no sun bearing down on us. Mochi and I, after ditching our empty ice cream cups, took a small break on a bench outside the Conoco building. This is where Mochi showed me the real way to take photos. He said, there is an amazing beauty in black and white photography. So as a result, all of the photos I took were in black and white. I was awestruck by the change in life of the photos. It was almost tear-jerking.

Later, I took Mochi to a place cut off from the rest of the Campus. On the side of the Student Union, there is a space in between buildings. In this space is a big wall that if you have enough upper body strength, you'd be able to climb and get on top of the building...not that I've done that before or anything...
Anyway, so I snagged a photo of Mochi just sitting on the wall. Don't ask me how he got up there. It was just amazing.

Soon our travels took us to the center of the OSU campus. Climbing the numerous stairs, we took a break on the balcony. Taking photos as we went. Every step of the way.

However, as any good journey does, we eventually found ourselves at Theta Pond.

I feel this photo speaks for itself. However, I must admit...I love the angle. It just makes this photo come alive.

Though I never knew Japanese people love chasing ducks and geese as much as we do. I thought all they did was fight ninjas and draw anime. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. It just gave me an interesting insight into the nature of Mochi.

Meet Mochi

2008-05-25T18:06:00.000-07:00

Not long ago, I made a new friend. His name is Mochi. Well I call him Mochi anyway. I didn't catch his name, so I decided to call him by that name. He doesn't seem to mind.

Mochi is a new college student from Japan. I believe he comes from Tokyo, but I wasn't sure. I'm still trying to get past his accent. But from what I could decipher, he is here to go to Vet School, and hopefully find a "hot American wife." I had chuckled at him at that point. Out of everything he said, I understood that sentence perfectly.

I happened to run into him at Hobby Lobby, and after some short introductions, we soon became good friends. I took him over to my parents home so he could meet my "folks." He had expressed that desire after we had talked for a while, so I acquiesced.

I took him to my room first, so he could get a little more presentable. He seemed to be doing alright at first...

But then after a while...he seemed to be struggling.
Although, I have to admit, I was floored by his flexibility and sense of balance.

Needless to say, I took Mochi to meet my family. He was a little shy at first, but he warmed up to them rather quickly, especially after my nephew called him Pan. It turns out that Mochi and Pan were good friends before he came to the States. They were actually penpals and had written each other many times and he had even visited Pan in China.

It's an amazingly small world, isn't it?

Anyways, Mochi and I have been hanging out a lot recently. We're pretty good friends. I'll have to upload some of our new photos in the future, but for now I just wanted to introduce you to him. So I hope you all like him as much as I do.

Meet Mochi.

That impressive thing Kit is doing

2008-05-12T12:27:00.000-07:00

So here I am at work, pondering to myself. Lost in my occasional cogitations, when suddenly a thought pops into my mind. I really like what Kit is doing with Pan. I find it to be impressive and creative. Something worthy of imitation. However, it seems I have a dilemma. My dilemma is this: I want to do something that cool without robbing Kit of the originality.
So more or less, I'm struggling to find some other creative ways to express myself in an ever going saga of photos. Kit and Pan are a wonderful example of what a creative, never ending saga, duo can be. They just fit so well together. Kit captured our attention while Pan swept us off our feet. So they are the exemplary form of what I wish to do. So, yet again, I find myself at my road block. What should I use and do? My mind has wandered into the paths of filmed fights or a combative story with music editing and special affects, but I find that to be rather drab. I don't find it to be as simply enjoyable as Kit and Pan and certainly not nearly as expressive. There is just something spectacular about non-destructive street art. So I will continue my cogitations and hopefully will find an answer. Hopefully, whatever it may be, it's taking out the bricks on the other side of the wall as I beat my head against it. I just can't wait to see what might be waiting on the other side.

If anyone has any suggestions, I'm open to receive them.

Sorry. I can't tip, how about a date instead? ...Or a job. That works too.

2008-05-08T06:30:00.000-07:00

So, Tuesday night, Michael Petrin and I decided to go merry making, after much physical activity, at a wonderful human feeding facility known as Tokyo Pot. It's a small Japanese restaurant, off of main street, near the Sushi House. In this restaurant, you actually prepare your own food by cooking it in a pot of either boiling water or a sort of broth, such as sukiyaki. You also can choose from an assortment of meat and such to have as your mean. The food is amazing. I'd try to describe how amazing the food is, but I'd end up using something cliché like "a little slice of heaven in your mouth," so I'll just express how amazing it is by saying this: "It's pretty freaking amazing."

Anyway, so Michael and I enter the feeding facility, but as we pass through the door I see a hand-written "Now Hiring" sign. I think to myself, "That's strange. They are usually doing very well, someone must have quit." Well, needless to say, Michael and I go in and get our seats. We have a cute little waitress and, soon to be, wonderful food. Both Michael and I ordered the small Rib-eye with the sukiyaki broth. The food comes out uncooked, with cabbage, mushrooms, sakura (cherry blossom) cut carrots, clear noodles, seaweed, Tofu, and then you get your meat.
If you get the water instead of a broth, you get a dipping plate. It's really good.
So we get our food and begin cooking it. I openly flirt with the waitress, because that's just what I do. It's in my personality. I can't help it. As time passes, I eventually ask the waitress about the "Now Hiring" sign. She in-turn, informed me many people were leaving for the summer and because it was a very new restaurant not many more people were trying to get the jobs. She then tells me she will be leaving shortly too, I reply with, "Well there goes all of my motivation for working here." She laughs and we eat our food. It's all going very well.
Finally Michael and I finish our food, I had some desert, but after that, we were ready to go. I open my wallet to retrieve my debit card and cash to pay the tip, when I suddenly realize I have no cash.
So
I'm in a predicament. I have no cash to tip the waitress and she's good looking and fun, so naturally I NEED to tip her. So I begin deliberating with Michael. After a small amount of time, we concluded I would give her two options. First, offer her the possibility of returning later with a big tip. Second, offer to take her on a date to pay for the tip.
The time was approaching as Casey (the waitress) walked toward us. I smiled sweetly and then explained the situation and the options. Smiling sweetly, she replied "No, don't worry about it. That's okay." So in a very soft way, she turned me down. I didn't mind. I was dressed in an Under Armor shirt, running shorts that were too short, dirty Puma shoes, and my hair wasn't done, so I didn't exactly think it would work. But, to salvage the moment and just because I was moderately interested, I asked, "So, do you guys have job applications or anything?" at which time she replied, "I don't believe so, but let me check."
She disappears.
Moments later, the manager walks out and asks us, "So, who is the gentleman asking about work?"
I naturally raised my hand, because it had been me. After a short conversation about my other job (veterinary pathobiology lab tech), he said, "okay, I'll need you to come in on Thursday around 4:00 so I can train you to work for this Friday and Saturday. I'll start you as a host for now until you get the menu down. Then you'll be good."
Okay, now take a second to digest that. Remember how I was dressed? Not to mention it was almost 10:30 at night. So, I just got a job, without even asking for it, at 10:30 at night, looking like crap, without even knowing the first thing about money or clothes or anything. At this point he proceeds to walk off. Me, still in a state of shock, call out, "What kind of clothes should I bring...I mean wear?"
He turns around and says, "Just wear a black shirt and some jeans. Nothing too trashy, just comfortable and casual."
I blink.
I blink again.
And then I blink one more time.

I turn to Michael, and say, "I think I just got a job without even asking for it." He smiles, "I would say that's the case."
We start laughing as we walk out.

So, I can sum up the night like this: "Sorry. I can't tip, how about a date instead? ...Or a job. That works too."

I go to work tonight. I'll let you know how it goes.